I was up a pound last week and went into the 'poor pitiful me' mode.. and gained 4 more pounds. Yeah, so that OBVIOUSLY didn't work out for me. I spent a lot of time letting my inner critic kick me around, and for DAYS she let me believe that I couldn't do this. I felt that I couldn't start again, and fail again, and start again, and fail again, and fail again, and fail again. I felt that drastic measures were needed, and that was the only way I would ever have success at this.
Man, I REALLY don't like her. She's hard to shut up sometimes, even with chocolate.
I did learn a lot this week; however.
Change your inner talk.
I learned that I need to check the way I talk to myself about several things. If I say 'I hate walking on the treadmill' I will not walk on the treadmill, but if I say 'I would rather walk outside, but when that's not possible the treadmill will work' well, that sounds a lot nicer, doesn't it? What we say and how we say it has power. In other words - check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Lean on others.
It's important to surround yourself with people who believe in you. When you do not believe in yourself, let their belief in you carry you. I'm sure my husband is exhausted from carrying me around so much. This week he reminded me that I am strong, that I am an overcomer, and that no matter what I look like he loves me but he KNOWS I have a strong spirit, and that this will not break me unless I let it. Even today I started up my 'woe is me' diatribe and he shut me up real quick. I didn't even get a sentence out.
Eat from home.
These past few weeks I ate from home a very small number of times. When I did take my breakfast & lunch, it was very clean and healthy. All the meals that I ate out were not. It seems like a simple concept, but this will be crucial to my success. I must not compromise on the time it takes to set myself up for success.
Do what you love.
I like to kick ass. Yep, there it is. I'm a fighter. I LOVE karate, I like boxing, kick boxing, and all of those things. There is a UFC gym right down the road that I am just chomping at the bit to join. I'm going to go check them out tomorrow, but unless they are doing some spectacular promotion I'm sure a membership with them is just a pipe dream. I will be observing karate classes at two different dojo's on Wednesday and Thursday. It's time to make a decision and start rocking out with karate again.
Be okay with the decisions you make.
My husband has been working 70+ hours a week. When he called to ask if I could go to the deli he manages and hang out a little bit, I went! My mom came up to visit for the weekend. We ran around and had a blast! I chose to do all of these things, and I need to be okay with them.
I hope these things help you along your journey!
Sunday, November 30, 2014
As I was getting ready to get a plan together I was looking through several blogs of people who have lost weight, and most of them had lost a significant amount of weight before they began blogging. While their information was great, I thought 'hey, it would be neat if someone had started from the beginning.' To be honest some of them may have, I just didn't have the patience to scroll through and find out. So, I decided to be that person. I've always felt that after I lost weight, I would 'pay-it-forward' by helping others do the same. But why wait? If this blog can help someone on the way, then great! I hope it does. Just so you know, this is a big step in shutting up those negative voices in my head, and not with cake this time. This time it was with brownies...
What are your favorite blogs or websites?
Here are a few blogs that I check out on a regular basis:
I love a good skirt. I once had this cute circle skirt that was pink and flowed so nicely. It reminded me of the innocence of youth and girlhood. When my friend decided to teach me how to sew a month ago, I jumped on the chance to make an awesome circle skirt.
Necklace: Lane Bryan
Skirt: Mine (hangs head in shame)
Tights: TJ Maxx
Shoes: Too old to remember
It definitely flows... I think next time I'll sew a pillow or something, and then work back up to skirts.
Last Week Follow Up
At two points last week every stitch of laundry was complete and put away.
I made a menu and for this week that is clean (except for meat balls & coffee creamer).
I shopped the list made from the menu.
My walking partner walked 1.5 miles one day last week.
I lost .6 pounds.
I made a pan of brownies as a 'last hurrah' and ate two. Which also happened to be half of the pan.
|Meet Woodstock. My walking partner.|
It occurred to me during our walk that Woodstock will have to also adjust to this lifestyle change. We've never really 'walked' him, only took him outside to do his business. That may be why he felt the urge to try to pee ever 5 yards. On the other hand, he did see a duck up close and personal on our walk. He was certainly intrigued, to say the least.
This Week's Plan
- Cook at least two nights this week.
- Keep up with the laundry (although it NEVER ENDS).
- Walk 1.5 miles with my walking buddy on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.
- Limit (perhaps cut out) caffeine.
- Eek out some creativity time!
- Mantra of the week: I'm worth it.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
So, I've recently decided that it's a self-control issue more than a weight loss issue.
Wait.. maybe I should back up.
This is me.
Wait.. maybe I should back up.
This is me.
|Day in the sun with the hubster,|
Occupation: Artist & Wifey
Likes: Creating in my art journal, most music, fashion, make-up, thoughtful gestures, and I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie. And therein lies the problem.
I want to do all of these crazy things like be a runner, learn to surf, do pull-ups, earn my black belt in Isshin-Ryu karate, run those crazy obstacle races, learn to kayak, go hiking, rock climb, zip line, sky dive, scuba dive, do those advanced yoga poses.. I think you get the point.
Did I mention that I'm 328.6 pounds?
This is officially the heaviest I've ever weighed.
I've started and stopped more weight loss programs than I care to admit. I've followed weight-loss plan after weight-loss plan, only to give up. I've done that SO many times that I'm really having trouble believing that I can lose the weight. I honestly cannot picture what I would look like at a healthy weight.
Over the past few years I have seen person after person that I care about suffer from diseases and health concerns that could be prevented with a healthy diet and exercise. Recently a woman who I love very much passed away.after suffering from multiple health concerns. I just keep whispering to myself that it didn't have to be that way.
It didn't have to be that way for her.
It doesn't have to be that way for me.
My current weight and life style are unacceptable.
I was reflecting over these heartbreaking events after spending time with scripture, and I was reminded that self-control is a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23). I tearfully and honestly examined where I do not currently exercise the self-control that was given to me when Christ was crucified for my sins. That list is much longer than I expected, but here is part of it:
- I do nothing to help with household expenses (other than work). Except for rent, I pay zero bills.
- I don't even check the account, or balance the check book.
- I do not concern myself with keeping my home clean.
- I don't cook. We spend good money on healthy & fresh food, but I don't cook it.
- I don't walk the dog.
Ouch, being transparent hurts.
Who picks up the slack? The person that I love most. My kind and generous husband. He's the love of my life. He pays all bills, keeps finances in order, does the laundry and dishes, and cooks. We play 'rock, paper, scissors' to determine who takes the dog out. I have realized that my lack of self-control is the height of selfishness, and my soul-mate has been left to carry the burden. This is also unacceptable.
|Ten year wedding vow renewal.|
|Getting ready for Kidz Camp!|
I think you can see what I mean at the start of this post about the issue not being just about weight loss.
Eat clean/paleo/michi's ladder. Is that vague enough? I plan to mostly eat paleo breakfast and lunches, with a clean dinner.
Make meal plans, and prep the meals.
Move every day.
5 days of the week I am going to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise. I plan to begin by walking in the park across the street. It has a half-mile walking path, and I am going to start with three laps.
Find a dojo. I earned my brown belt in Isshin-Ryu karate in July, then moved a good part of the way across the state. My sensei and I had a 'best case scenario' that ended up falling through. This week I will make contact with the two Isshin-Ryu dojo's that I know of in the area and plan to observe some classes.
Pray and acknowledge that I cannot do this alone, but that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
Cut myself some slack. This can't be an 'all-or-nothing' thing. I have to find what works for me (and what doesn't).
Be transparent with those of you reading this. I plan on giving you the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Today's Plan of Attack:
Start this blog (check).
Cook and EAT a healthy dinner (Pork loin and sweet potatoes - check).
Do the dishes.
Don't make an unrealistic plan of attack that will leave me feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
What?!? I've cooked dinner AND am going to do the dishes, also? See, this blog is already helping! Lol. Thanks for joining me on this journey!!